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When to Introduce Screens to My Child
How to Build Healthy Digital Habits for Your Family
The Short Answer:
- Highly engaging screens like smartphones and tablets are addictive. For that reason postponing their introduction for as long as possible can be incredibly beneficial.
- Understanding how the content the child consumes on screens affects the child, is key to figuring out when to introduce what.
Designed for Adults
Your child needs time to play independently and explore the world through hands-on activities like drawing, crafting, running, climbing, and discovering. They also benefit from moments of boredom, which encourage creativity and initiative. Just as importantly, face-to-face interaction and conversation play a key role in their mental development and language skills. [”]
Screens might seem like a wonderful tool to entertain or even educate, but the reality is that young children have so much to learn, and screens have a way of stealing that time before we even realize it. [”]
Smartphones and tablets are designed for adults. While they can be useful in certain situations, there is a significant downside to using them as a go-to solution for comforting, entertaining, or calming your child. (And once introduced, it becomes surprisingly difficult to keep their use limited to specific situations.)
Screens are here to stay, but so are a lot of other things that adults can handle better than children.
The Drawbacks of Using Screens to Calm, Comfort, and Entertain
Why aren’t screens a long-term solution in these situations?
Because learning to soothe yourself when you’re upset is a skill. Children need practice to regulate their emotions. If they always rely on screens to calm down, they miss the opportunity to develop their own coping strategies – skills that will serve them for life.
Because learning to sit still is not just about doing what you are told. First; the reason young children don’t want to sit still isn’t a flaw – it’s nature’s way of making sure they move enough to develop strong, healthy bodies and motor skills. We might unintentionally keep them from moving enough if we are not observant to what we are asking of our children. Second; when it comes to sitting still at a restaurant, in a classroom, or at the dinner table, most children can learn to do this after they have moved enough and if they have enough time to practice it.
Because winding down is something we learn how to do. You probably have your own ways to relax – reading, taking a bath, or deep breathing. These aren’t just habits; they’re skills you developed over time. Your child needs that same chance to discover what helps them unwind.
Because boredom fuels creativity. We all want our children to be curious, creative, and full of ideas. But problem-solving and independent play aren’t traits we are simply born with; they’re skills we develop through experience. A child who is always entertained never gets the chance to practice coming up with their own fun, their own stories, their own solutions.
We are here to explore.
It's a Grey Area
It’s natural to wonder if we’re overthinking things. “Why should I approach screen time differently than so many other families? Am I just making life harder?”
But sometimes, by rethinking the role of screens, we open up new possibilities for our family’s growth and connection.
The conversation around children and screen time often starts on the wrong foot, as if it’s a simple debate of being for or against it. Like many important and complex topics related to healthy upbringing, it’s about having access to clear information and making well-informed decisions in every situation.
Join us in this line of thought by continuing to read the examples below.
What Your Child Consumes on a Screen Matters
Having control over what your child consumes is crucial. Streaming services that allow you to select specific programs are far better than platforms like YouTube, where unpredictable ads and suggested videos can introduce inappropriate content. Parents play a key role in guiding their child’s digital diet by choosing high-quality programs, co-viewing when possible, and discussing what they watch to encourage learning and critical thinking.
The quality of what your child consumes is just as important as how much time they spend on screens. Research shows that educational TV programs can support learning, while fast-paced shows may contribute to shorter attention spans. Choosing content wisely helps shape a child’s cognitive and emotional development. [”]
The Type Of Screen Your Child Uses Matters
Imagine watching a favorite animated movie on TV with your child, enjoying the experience together. Now, picture your child sitting alone, playing a game on an iPad. It feels different and there is a difference. Smartphones and tablets are designed for solo use, making it easy for children to come across content that isn’t age-appropriate, and spend more time on screens than you intended. These devices are also held close to the face, which can strain the eyes. [”]
There are moments when using a smartphone or tablet is practical – like during an important doctor’s appointment when you need a quiet moment to talk. In such cases, it’s a temporary tool, not a habit. But outside of specific situations, children rarely need personal access to these devices, and limiting their use helps support healthier screen habits.
Opening the Gates to the Internet
Once your child encounters something harmful online, there’s no way to erase it. We protect our children in so many ways, and our intention might be that the iPad is just for watching Paw Patrol. But with internet access, a few taps can lead your child far beyond what you ever intended – into a world made for adults, not for children. [”]
Screen Time and Child Development
Every family’s journey with screens is unique, and each of us approaches it in our own way. Some parents find that setting clear boundaries from the very beginning – like allowing TV and computer or video games only on specific days or for set amounts of time – can create a healthy relationship with screens, one that prevents conflict and sets expectations.
It’s worth taking some time to consider how you want screens to fit into your family’s life, before they become part of the daily routine or, especially before giving your child their own device. Here are some reflections to consider:
- Do you hope your child will continue to cultivate a love for playing with toys, creating, building, climbing, and exploring? These experiences foster essential brain development, motor skills, and physical health. Or are you open to the possibility that these enriching activities might become a little less engaging next to the pull of Youtube or a favorite video game?
- Do you imagine your child finding joy in books, getting lost in stories, and letting their imagination soar? While many children can love both reading and using a tablet, it can be tricky to return to books if the never-ending entertainment of an iPad takes center stage. Many parents of older children speak about the challenge of rekindling that love for reading.
- In places like restaurants, where waiting quietly can be challenging, screens can feel like a saving grace. But think of it this way: learning patience and table manners is a skill that takes practice – and each time you guide them through, you’re helping your child learn how to wait and engage respectfully with the people around them.
We learn and grow through conversation, connection, and shared experiences.
How Screen Time Affects Your Child’s Development
- Cognitive Development (and later; Academic Performance)
Screen time on tablets and smartphones during early childhood has been linked to developmental delays in areas like language and problem-solving. [”] - Social Skills and Emotional Development
When screen time replaces playtime, children miss out on learning the art of face-to-face connection and empathy. [”] - Physical Health and Sedentary Lifestyle
Screen time often means sitting still, which can affect a child’s physical health and lead to a more sedentary lifestyle. [”] - Vision Decline and Increased Need for Glasses
Extended screen time, especially up close, has been linked to higher rates of myopia (nearsightedness) in children, increasing the likelihood of needing glasses. [”] - Attention and Focus
Quick-paced apps and games may make real-world tasks seem slow, challenging children’s ability to sustain attention. - Emotional Regulation and Dopamine Response
Games and videos can create a “feel-good” cycle that makes other activities seem less exciting, impacting emotional resilience. [”] - Risk of Behavioral Issues
Certain fast-paced or intense content can affect young children’s behavior, sometimes making them more impulsive or irritable. [”] - Sleep Disruptions
The blue light from screens can confuse our natural sleep rhythms, making it hard for kids to wind down at bedtime. [”]
The Power of Waiting
By waiting on screen introductions – by keeping tablets or phones from becoming a routine part of home, car rides, outings, and errands – you may find it easier for your child to continue to find great joy in play, creativity, movement, and even just being in the present. It also gives your child the chance to learn how to manage big feelings with you by their side, rather than reaching for a screen for comfort. This skill – knowing how to self-soothe and cope – will be a gift they carry with them throughout their lives.
Further Reading:
- Children’s Health and Safety Risks in Online Gaming 🎮
What Every Parent Should Know - Unplug and Connect
The Ultimate Gift for Your Child Is Your Presence - Breaking Childhood Screen Addiction
Helping Your Child Find Offline Joy and Healthier Habits
